ROLL CALL: Johnny Knoxville Apologizes For Fake Grenade

Your Daily Dispatch of Celebrity Shenanigans

Anne Hathaway: First Babysitter: Anne Hathaway is hoping to land a job in Obama’s White House, but not as an ambassador – as First Babysitter for Sasha and Malia. “I would want to be head babysitter,” Anne told People. “I’d love to be First Babysitter, absolutely.” With Anne’s checkered boyfriend past, we’re not sure if Anne is the best choice for the job! Seeing as Julie Andrews played her grandmother in multiple “Princess Diaries” movies, we’re sure Anne has picked up a few hints along the way would make a great choice!

David Archuleta: First Music Teacher: Anne’s not the only one wanting to help Sasha and Malia during their stay at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. “Idol” runner-up David Archuleta has offered up his musical skills for the girls. “I would give the girls music lessons,” David told People. “Probably not piano lessons, because I’m far from the greatest pianist, but voice lessons.” Hopefully, Sasha and Malia were Archie fans and not Cook fans last year.

Johnny Knoxville Apologizes For Fake Grenade: One person we’re 100 percent sure won’t be teaching the Obama daughters anything is “Jackass” star Johnny Knoxville. Following his Thursday incident, where he brought an inert grenade to Los Angeles International Airport, the actor apologized on his blog, saying it was just a prop from a show he was filming for MTV. “The cops did their job and verified that it wasn’t real. Also, they were cool as they could be to me, considering the situation, and it is no ones fault but my own. I should have checked my g****** luggage through and through, but I didn’t and now we have this incident,” Johnny wrote. “The tabloids are saying it was a real grenade, but that’s bulls***. They just said that to make a story out of it, because if it was real I never would have been allowed to board my flight to Miami an hour later. Anyway, it was a mistake, and I just landed at the Miami airport.” Knowing Johnny’s career, we can only imagine what else he has in that bag. Our heart goes out to the TSA screener who had to search it.

Brit’s Bomb Abs: And speaking of things that are blowing up, Britney showed off her amazing new toned abs on her Web site Friday. In a new photo, she is seen dancing in a midriff t-shirt, wearing sunglasses and athletic pants. The pop star and her abs have come a long way since her 2007 VMA performance. See Brit’s new abs HERE!