Prince Harry is revealing what motivated him to finally go to therapy.
The Duke of Sussex got candid in the new Apple TV+ docuseries “The Me You Don’t See,” which he co-created alongside Oprah Winfrey. In the show, he opens up about his mental health journey and explained who pushed him to seek help —it was his wife Meghan Markle.
“I saw doctors, I saw therapists, I saw alternative therapists. I saw all sorts of people,” Harry said. “But it was meeting and being with Meghan, I knew that if I didn’t do therapy and fix myself, that I was going to lose this woman who I could see spending the rest of my life with.”
A Look Back At Meghan Markle & Prince Harry’s Royal Wedding
View GalleryThe 36-year-old said his mental health issues began after the death of his mother, Princess Diana, in 1997. Harry was 12 when she died and had to mourn her loss publicly, in front of millions of people across the world. As he got older, he said he was never encouraged to talk about his struggles.
“I wasn’t in an environment where it was encouraged to talk about it either, that was sort of, like, squashed,” the Duke of Sussex said.
During his honest conversation with Oprah, Harry revealed that for a while, he was all over the place mentally.
“If people said, ‘how are you?’ I’d be like ‘fine.’ Never happy. Never sad, just fine. Fine was the easy answer. But I was all over the place mentally,” he said.
According to Prince Harry, his mental health only got worse as his royal duties increased.
“Every time I put a suit and tie on and having to do the role and sort of like go, let’s go. Before I even left the house I was pouring with sweat, my heart rate was…I was in fight or flight mode. Panic attacks, severe anxiety,” he said.
Harry added that his life was a nightmare from age 28 to 31 and he frequently turned to alcohol to help him “feel less.”
“I was willing to drink, I was willing to take drugs, I was willing to try and do the things that made me feel less like I was feeling,” the prince said. “But I slowly became aware that, okay, I wasn’t drinking Monday to Friday, but I would probably drink a week’s worth in one day on a Friday or a Saturday night. And I would find myself drinking, not because I was enjoying it but because I was trying to mask something.”
He went onto add that when people are hurting, if they don’t transform and process, their emotions end up “coming out in all sorts of different ways that you can’t control.”
He added that he never thought he would need or do therapy, but eventually he realized it was time.
“I had to heal myself from the past,” the 36-year-old said.
Even after being in therapy, Harry said he is still haunted by being unable to help his mom as she struggled with the tabloid media.
Princess Diana’s Life in Photos
View Gallery“It was a puzzling life and, unfortunately, when I think about my mum the first thing that comes to mind is always the same one, over and over again. Strapped in the car, seatbelt across. My brother in the car as well, and my mother driving and being chased by three, four, five mopeds with paparazzi on,” he said.
“She was almost unable to drive because of the tears, there was no protection. One of the feelings that come up is helplessness. Being too young, being a guy, too young to be able to help a woman, in this case, your mother. And that happened every single day until the day she died.”
In the first episode of the series, Harry also revealed to Oprah a regret he has—not taking more of a stance early in his relationship with Meghan and calling out the racism she faced.
“History was repeating itself,” he said. “My mother was chased to her death while she was in a relationship with someone that wasn’t white and now look what happens. Want to talk about history repeating itself.”
Harry and Oprah co-created “The Me You Don’t See” to “lift the veil” on mental health and well-being.
The series will also feature stories from Lady Gaga and Glenn Close.
Access Hollywood’s podcast “The Vault” features decades worth of A-list interviews and never-before-heard moments with some of the biggest stars in Hollywood. Listen now!
– Emely Navarro