Jonathan Plummer’s Advice For Wives Who Suspect Their Husband Is Gay

NEW YORK, NY (September 28, 2007) – If you’ve logged on to the TV One Access page, you probably know we recently interviewed author Terry McMillan’s former husband Jonathan Plummer. During their marriage, Plummer realized he was gay and the couple later divorced.

In our interview with Jonathan, he revealed to TV One Access, his advice for a woman who might suspect she is married to a gay man.

“All I can say to women is just like if you have any speculations just ask the person that you are with.”

Plummer says that women who even suspect their husbands may be living a double life as a gay man, have to just ask the question.

“Just tell them to be honest and let them know that it is OK to be who you are.”

It is perhaps that kind of honesty that landed Plummer in the headlines and in the courtroom when he declared to McMillan that he was gay in 2004. The pair married in 1998 after a whirlwind cougar relationship. Their romance was the inspiration for “How Stella Got Her Groove Back,” the 1996 novel chronicling the relationship between a 40-something American woman and a 20-something Jamaican man.

“I didn’t know that I was gay when I married Terry,” Jonathan told TV One Access. “People need to know that Terry was 23 years older than I was, I was 20-years-old when we met. So I mean, I was still growing up basically.”

Jonathan certainly grew up and out. Their split played out in the headlines and became a he said/she said situation. In the end of their messy divorce, Plummer received only $28,000 as spousal support from his ex-wife.

“You know that was in the court system. To each his own. I just basically walked away because it was not right the way I was treated unfortunately. So there is not much to talk about,” he said.

McMillan has claimed Plummer smeared her reputation and used her to gain US citizenship. She is now suing Jonathan for $40 million.

When asked about the lawsuit, Plummer told TV One Access, it took him time to realize he was gay.

“As I said before, you just don’t wake up one day and say you’re gay. There is a process that we all go through,” he said.

Plummer was also asked about McMillan’s claims he smeared her and used her on “The Oprah Winfrey” show, previously.

In that interview, he also maintained his position that he did not realize he was gay when he married Plummer and would not comment further.

Now Plummer is penning his own experiences in the fictional novel “Balancing Act.”

“With my book ‘Balancing Act’ it’s, it is a very extraordinary coming out story. It’s finding that delicate balance between who you really are and who people want you to be,” he told TV One Access. “It’s a struggle of you know finding yourself, sexual honesty.”

So ladies, if you remotely suspect their might be a little hint of lavender in your husband’s behavior, confront him, because as Jonathan can probably tell you. It might be one expensive mistake avoided.

“You have to find your own honesty and you have to be happy. There is gonna be hurt regardless so I mean just let people know that it’s not, we don’t mean it,” he said.